It’s hard to see the guys you date the way you see the guys your friends date. It’s much easier to see a problem when it’s not happening to us. RELATED: Woman Learns Her Boyfriend Of 2 Years Has Kids After He Tries To Move Them In & Make Her Care For Them
Here are 6 critical bits of love advice we always give, but never take:
1. Just tell him how you feel
Whether you dig a new guy or you’ve fallen head-over-heels for your longtime main man, it’s often difficult to spit out your feelings to his face. More often than not, you’ll find us egging on our friends, encouraging them to shake off their nerves, move past their fear of rejection, and let the love flow. But the second we’re the one in the hot seat, we often clam up and have trouble sharing our feelings.
2. Don’t worry about it
When a first date hasn’t texted for two days or you’re willing to bet he’ll forget your second anniversary—in other words, in any relationship situation you can’t control—the only reasonable thing to do is let it go. And while we urge our friends to focus on anything other than what’s causing them to worry, we ourselves get lost in Compulsive Thought Land many times. RELATED: Woman Gets Text Message From Unknown Number Telling Her To Get A DNA Test & Her World Turns Upside Down
3. Overanalyzing his cryptic text will get you nowhere
What did he mean by his simple “sure?” Maybe he meant he would rather do anything than attend the ballet by your side—or maybe he just meant “sure.” We’d tell a friend to put her sleuthing skills to better use by snagging a fabulous date-night dress on sale, but we’d be staring nonstop at our phones trying to decipher the hidden meaning in that four-letter word.
4. Don’t text your ex
Don’t text him to rub in your new relationship, don’t text him sober and lonely—and no matter what, don’t text him while drunk. Texting an ex only leads to more heartache, period. And yet, when we’re missing a man we once loved, it’s not always easy to stop before hitting Send. RELATED: Woman Finds Tinder Match On Police’s ‘Most Wanted’ List For Stalking — And Finds Video Of Him Harassing Ex
5. Snooping is never a good idea
If you find nothing, we tell our friends, and you’ll feel guilty. And if you find something, how are you going to tell him? The act of snooping is wrong, but the need to know is strong—much stronger than our own ability to resist sneaking a look at his vibrating phone when he leaves the room.
6. Go out with Mr. Nice Guy
He may not have serious sex appeal or arrive to pick you up on a motorcycle, but you can count on Mr. Nice Guy to come through in the ways that really matter. Mr. Nice Guy, we advise, is the man you marry. But when we’re being asked on date number three by a perfectly nice guy we’re just not attracted to, do we make up a reason to say no? You bet we do. RELATED: Woman Confronts Husband Of 25 Years After Catching Him In Home Of His Secret Second Family Jillian Kramer is a freelance writer who focuses on relationships and love advice, and women’s health and wellness. This article was originally published at Glamour. Reprinted with permission from the author.
